“Smooth seas make no skillful sailors” African proverb
Failure is an illusion because we make a big deal out of it. It is a natural thing that happens to all human beings. No one born of a woman has never failed. Yet we make failure more than it should be, it is a way of learning how not to do something, yet we turn it into a labeling venture. “He is a failure” “I am a failure” “She is a failure”. This should not be. We also look at people who are successful in life and label them “he is a success, she is a success”. It is important to recognize both failure and success, however, we make an error in assigning ourselves or others labels based on these two titles. You see if you accept the label of a failure, then there is no point in trying. It becomes a self-fulfilling label. I think these two exist together in some way. Each person with a successful story, has had numerous failures before achieving the success.
For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should view failure for what it is, a feedback mechanism, to tell us whether we are on the right path or not period. It is not a label.
King David is arguably one of the greatest kings in history. His story in the Bible is one of both victories and failures. Even though he achieved some great victories and success in life, he had many failures. Some of his notable successes were:
- killing Goliath, the giant who had frightened the entire Israelite army including King Saul.
- He succeeded Saul as the second king of Israel.
- Managed to unify the kingdom of Israel which had broken into two after king Saul’s death.
- He won many battles both before he became king and after becoming the king.
- He wrote many Psalms, he was described as the sweet psalmist of Israel.
- God was fond of him and described him as “A man after my own heart.”
- God gave him the ultimate promise, that he would never lack someone from his family line on the throne of Israel forever or for eternity.
However, he had many failures along the way too:
- He committed adultery then murdered the husband of the woman he had slept with.
- He had family issues:
- His son rebelled against him and deposed him from his kingdom.
- One of his sons raped his daughter. Because of David’s inaction as the father, one of his other sons decided to kill his brother to avenge his sister.
- Another son wanted to forcefully become his heir as king.
- His General disobeyed him and killed his son who had rebelled against him.
I think if you examine the life of most if not all highly successful people, you will discover that they have endured a lot of failure in their life as well. They have learnt to take important lessons from their failures so that they can improve and increase the chances of attaining their goals. Famous people like Abraham Lincoln, Walt Disney, Michael Jordan, Mohammed Ali, George Foreman, Steve Jobs, Nelson Mandela, Albert Einstein, Oprah Winfrey and the list goes on and on, they all have had to endure failures to get to success in their endeavours.
If we fail, we should take time to soak in the failure, grieve and capture the lessons from it. However, after doing that, we should get up, dust ourselves up and move forward towards more life. As mentioned in a previous episode, we are fashioned to naturally move towards increased life. As it says in Proverbs 24:16, “the godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again.”
It is akin to the story of the donkey that fell into a well. The owner tried to figure out how to pull it out, but his efforts were futile. He had been wanting to cover up the well. He then figured out that the donkey was old anyway and he would just have to bury it, hoping it would not suffer much. He then called friends to help him pour sand into the well to bury the donkey and cover up the well. They poured sand in there, at first the donkey was frantic, braying in protest. Then the donkey realized if it could shake off the sand, it could step on it and keep rising. So it stopped complaining and did just that. The farmer was happy to realize the donkey was quiet since the braying was unnerving to him. When he looked inside at some point, he could not believe what he saw, the donkey was still alive and had risen with the level of the sand in the well. Eventually the donkey was able to jump out of the well.
Like this donkey, we should learn to analyze the failures that life throws at us and use them as stepping stones towards attaining the goals we are working towards.
When we are moving forward after failure, we should do something different from what we had done previously. We should implement the lessons and strategies learnt from the failure. Otherwise, if we do the same thing, we may end up with the same result. As it has been said insanity is doing the same thing while expecting a different result.
Another important aspect while strategizing for the way forward after failure is to seek advice from wise people in the area that concerns you. That way, you will know that you are making the right moves as you go forward into more life.
So what is your view of failure, do you assess it right? I have to remind myself many times to take the right perspective or attitude about any failure I may encounter as I pursue my goals. It is a constant reminder if you may.
For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should have the right perspective of failure. That it is a way of learning how not to do something as opposed to an attribute of our character.
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill
