“A heart at war needs enemies to justify its warring. It needs enemies and mistreatment more than it wants peace.” The Arbinger Institute
It is apparent that at any one point, we are either operating with a heart at war or a heart at peace. The outcome of our actions will be quite different depending on the heart behind the actions we take. When we act with a heart at war, our actions tend towards chaos, on the other hand, when we act with a heart at peace, our actions tend towards harmony. In the book The Anatomy of Peace, the Arbinger Institute refers to these two kinds of hearts as the way of being. They indicate the following:
With a Heart at peace – you see others as PEOPLE. People with hopes, needs, cares, and fears as real to you as your own.
With a heart at war – you see others as OBJECTS. They are obstacles on your way, vehicles to achieve your ends, irrelevancies, inconsequential etc.
So the outcome of our actions, as we interact with others, is largely influenced by the our state of being. Whether we are having a heart at peace or a heart at war.
For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should aim to operate with a heart at peace. Yes we may have a heart at war from time to time, for that is human nature, but it should not be lost to us to be aware and gravitate back to the heart at peace.
The good news is that, our Creator has given us capability to have a heart at peace even in the midst of war. Whether that be a physical war, a mental war, relational war, economic war or any other form of war. There are a couple of examples from history and in current times that show this is possible:
There is a story in the book The Anatomy of Peace by the Arbinger Institute, about a historical figure Saladin. “In June of 1099, Crusaders from the West laid siege to Jerusalem. After forty days, they penetrated the northern wall and flooded into the city. They slaughtered most of the city’s Muslim population within two days. The last of the survivors were forced to carry the dead to mass unmarked graves, where they piled the corpses in heaps and set them on fire. These survivors were then either massacred or sold into slavery.
The Jews, although not so numerous, fared no better. In the Jewish quarter, the inhabitants fled to the main synagogue for refuge. The invaders barricaded the exits and stacked wood around the building. They then torched it, burning all but the few who managed to escape. These people were slaughtered in the narrow streets as they attempted to flee.
The brutality extended as well to the local Christians who officiated at Christian holy sites. These priests were expelled, tortured, and forced to disclose the location of precious relics, which were then taken from them…After taking Jerusalem in 1099, the Crusaders took control of most of the coastal areas of the Middle East. They continued to hold these regions for about eighty years.” Around 1187, Saladin managed to unite all the Muslim peoples from Syria to Egypt and mobilized their collective resistance. His armies recaptured Jerusalem in 1187. “Militarily, politically, and in every other way, Saladin was the most successful leader of the period. His successes were so surprising and total that historians sometimes invoke luck and good fortune to explain them.” Saladin’s invasion of Jerusalem was different in comparison to that of the Crusaders. “In the spring of 1187, after the Crusaders had broken a truce, Saladin called upon the forces of Islam to gather in Damascus. He planned to march against the occupiers in a unified effort and drive them from their lands.
Saladin sprung a trap on the Western forces near the Sea of Galilee. A few escaped, including a leader named Balian of Ibelin. Balian escaped to Tyre, where via messenger he made a surprising request of Saladin: he asked whether he could go to Jerusalem and fetch his wife and bring her back to safety in Tyre. He promised he would not take up arms in defense of Jerusalem. Saladin agreed.
However, upon arriving in Jerusalem and finding there was no one to lead its defense, Balian begged Saladin to let him out of his commitment. He wanted to stay and lead the resistance against Saladin’s army. Saladin not only allowed it, he sent an escort to lead Balian’s wife from Jerusalem to the safety of Tyre!”…
“The siege of Jerusalem began on the twentieth of September , nine days later, Saladin’s men breached the wall close to the place where the Crusaders had flowed through almost ninety years earlier. Saladin put his men under strict order not to harm a single Christian person or plunder any of their possessions. He reinforced the guards at Christian places of worship and that the defeated peoples would be welcome to come to Jerusalem on pilgrimage whenever they liked.
As a way to restock the treasury, Saladin worked out a ransom structure with Balian for each of the city’s inhabitants. His men protested that the amounts were absurdly low. But Saladin was concerned for the poor among them. So much so, in fact, that he let many leave without any ransom whatsoever. He sent widows and children away with gifts. His leaders objected, saying that if they were going to let so many leave without any compensation, they should at least increase the ransom for the wealthy. But Saladin refused. Balian himself was allowed to leave with a rich sum. Saladin even sent an escort to protect him on his journey to Tyre.” According to the Arbinger Institute, the secret to Saladin’s success in war was that his heart was at peace. This story illustrates that even in the midst of raging war, someone’s heart can be at peace.
A similar story is that of David in the Bible. After killing Goaliath, his popularity rose among the people and King Saul was concerned, he became jealous. There was a song saying “Saul has killed his thousands, and David his ten thousands!” This made King Saul very angry. He thought the people would next make David to be king in his place. David usually played his harp to calm King Saul whenever he felt anxious or had disturbing thoughts. The following day after the song was sung, David was playing the harp for King Saul, but Saul hurled a spear at David intending to pin him to the wall, but David ducked twice and escaped. For around 15 years before he died, King Saul pursued David in attempts to kill him. Twice, David had an opportunity to kill Saul but he chose not to.
- The first time, Saul was hunting David in the wilderness of Engedi. He went into a cave to relieve himself, but David and his men were hiding at the back of that cave. David’s men told him that this was his opportunity to finish him. David instead crept forward and cut off a piece of Saul’s robe. When Saul had left, David came out and shouted to him “My lord the king!” and then bowed low when Saul looked back. He then shouted “Why do you listen when men say, ‘David is bent on harming you’? This day you have seen with your own eyes how the Lord delivered you into my hands in the cave. Some urged me to kill you, but I spared you; I said, ‘I will not lay my hand on my lord, because he is the Lord’s anointed.’ See, my father, look at this piece of your robe in my hand! I cut off the corner of your robe but did not kill you. See that there is nothing in my hand to indicate that I am guilty of wrongdoing or rebellion. I have not wronged you, but you are hunting me down to take my life. May the Lord judge between you and me. And may the Lord avenge the wrongs you have done to me, but my hand will not touch you. As the old saying goes, ‘From evildoers come evil deeds,’ so my hand will not touch you. (1 Samuel 24)
- The second time, Saul took 3000 of Israel’s elite troops to go hunt for David in the wilderness of Ziph. David and one of his soldiers Abishai managed to sneak into Saul’s camp while they were sleeping at night. Saul and Abner, the Commander of his army, were sleeping inside a ring formed by the slumbering warriors, his spear stuck in the ground beside his head. Abishai whispered to David to let him pin Saul to the ground with the spear. David told him not to kill him, only to take the spear and his jug of water. Then they got away without anyone seeing them or waking up.
Then David crossed over to the other side and stood on top of the hill some distance away; there was a wide space between them. He called out to the army and to Abner son of Ner, “Aren’t you going to answer me, Abner?” Abner replied, “Who are you who calls to the king?” David said, “You’re a man, aren’t you? And who is like you in Israel? Why didn’t you guard your lord the king? Someone came to destroy your lord the king. What you have done is not good. As surely as the Lord lives, you and your men must die, because you did not guard your master, the Lord’s anointed. Look around you. Where are the king’s spear and water jug that were near his head?” Saul recognized David’s voice and said, “Is that your voice, David my son?” David replied, “Yes it is, my lord the king.” And he added, “Why is my lord pursuing his servant? What have I done, and what wrong am I guilty of? (1 Samuel 26)
David’s heart was at peace, as such, he was able to exercise restraint and not harm Saul even when there were two clear opportunities for him to do so.
A couple of years ago in 2019, an interesting story was reported in the news of a young man Brandt Jean who chose to forgive and embrace Amber Guyger who had been convicted of killing his brother. In a YouTube video, Brandt makes some emotional remarks, regarding how Amber already knew what she had taken from him and his family. That all he wanted was the best for her and that while not speaking for his family, as a person, he had forgiven her. He said the best thing his brother would have wanted is for Amber to give her life to Christ. Brandt even said if it was upon him, she should not even go to jail. As if that was not enough, he then made an unusual request to the Judge, that if he could please be allowed to hug Amber. The Judge granted the request and Brandt walked across the room towards Amber and embraced her. It was an emotional moment with Amber heard sobbing as Brandt reassures her. It was such a beautiful picture of harmony at its best.
This youngman had a heart that was at peace and he was able to forgive.
The ultimate example of a heart at peace amidst injustice and chaos in my opinion is that of Jesus and that of Stephen who was killed by a mob by stoning. Both Jesus and Stephen were able to forgive their killers just before they died, even though they suffered a painful unjust death.
It may seem weak not to revenge or retaliate, however, I think it takes a lot of power to exercise restraint. To let God intervene and avenge in His own just ways. It took courage for David not to kill Saul when he had opportunity, for Stephen not to hate those stoning him, when he had every right so to do, for Brandt to hug his brother’s killer, when he had every right to hate or revel in her imprisonment….
A heart at peace is able to employ empathy, a thing that is impossible for a heart at war to do. Indeed like William Hazlitt said “Those who are at war with others are not at peace with themselves.”
It is important to take note when we encounter someone whose heart is not at peace, we get an opportunity to show empathy and compassion. As Lauren Eden said “Sometimes we are just the collateral damage in someone else’s inner war against themselves.”
For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should strive to have a heart at peace and to carry out our actions in that state. Like any trait, it may take practice and God’s help to attain this heart.
