Prevention is better than cure. This is a saying that is used mostly in medical circles. However, I think it applies in most situations including conflict. A similar Swahili saying goes as follows “Usipoziba ufa, utajenga ukuta”. In English, it means if you do not repair a crack, you will end up building the entire wall.
For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should seek, as much as possible, to act or take precaution in advance to prevent bad effects that would come later on as a result of unaddressed conflict.
There is a gradual increase in the effects of conflict in our lives as time goes by. The incremental effects happen in such aspects as time, money, effects to our health and damage to relationships:
- In the aspect of time, prevention of conflict takes seconds or minutes, but if it goes unaddressed it could take years to resolve.
- In terms of money, dealing with conflict early on is mostly free, but if it is unaddressed for long it could cost millions to deal with.
- In the aspect of health, dealing with conflict is free early on, however, if it is not addressed, the stress can result in medical issues that could cost millions to address.
- In relationships, whether they be personal or business relationships, preventative measures are mostly free, however if a conflict emerges which goes unresolved for a long time, the relationship may end.
There is a story of a lady who was heating up a pot of water on a gas stove in preparation for her family’s dinner. A frog fell into the pot while the water was still cold. It wasn’t the frog’s intention to be stuck in the pot of water but it felt okay and he did not attempt to escape. As the water’s temperature kept rising, the frog was able to adjust his body temperature accordingly. So he remained in the pot, he did not try to escape. As the water’s temperature increased and the water was about to boil, the frog’s body could not keep up. It started to cook. The frog tried to jump out of the nearly boiling pot but it was too intense for him to get out. It was too late for the frog to save himself.
Had this frog acted earlier on, he may have survived and would not have been boiled in the water. However, the longer he waited, the tougher the situation became and it cost him his life. That is the same way it is with us in any conflict. The longer we wait to deal with it, the harder it is to deal with in the long run.
This reminds me of a cartoon I saw that shows a busy father’s interaction with his son. It shows the son, who is roughly 3 or 4 years old coming so excitedly to the father asking him to play with him. The father says “not now, I am busy” first time, he was reading. Second time the son comes, he says the same thing, now adjusting his tie, ready to leave for work. A third time the son asks to play, the father now looking at his phone, probably to check an important email or text message says the same thing “not now son”. The last portion of the cartoon shows a much older father and his grown up son. The father seeks out the son to spend time with him, the son in reversed roles says “not now father, I am busy!” It is seemingly harder for this father to repair the relationship with the son later on in life. Had he taken some time to play with the son, the picture would have been much different.
There is an example of how much it costs in time and money for conflicts that end up needing an expert to resolve. In an article by Alessandra Sgubini on mediate.com, she tabulates the cost comparison of litigation, arbitration and mediation in the USA from a research conducted by Bridge Mediation in 2015. These are some of the formal ways available to resolve a conflict. The research found as follows:
- Litigation – it cost a business or individual approximately $ 367,500. To get this figure, they estimated an average of 2 hours per day dealing with one case and 2.5 years to get a solution.
- Arbitration – it cost a business or individual approximately $ 49,000 ( which includes attorney/lawyer fees, arbitrator fees, administrative fees, depositions and experts). The estimated time spent in arbitration to resolve a conflict was 60 hours.
- Mediation – it cost a business or individual approximately $7,100 (which includes attorney/lawyer fees, mediator fees and administrative fees). They estimated on average 10 hours to arrive at a solution (comprised of 8 hours for the process plus 2 hours administrative time).
So it costs much as time goes by to deal with a conflict. The earlier one deals with conflict, the more inspired and harmonious life they will lead. They will be spared the costs of conflict in terms of time, money, health and relationships. One would essentially have more time to focus on productive activities, save money which would be used in other productive ways, their health would be better and their relationships will be stronger and better.
The book of Proverbs in the Bible says “a prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simple person goes blindly on and suffers the consequences” (Proverbs 22:3). Jesus also cautioned as follows:”…if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God. When you are on the way to court with your adversary. Settle your differences quickly. Otherwise, your accuser may hand you over to the judge, who will hand you over to an officer, and you will be thrown into prison. And if that happens, you surely won’t be free again until you have paid the last penny.” (Matthew 5:23-26).
So there is wisdom in settling matters as soon as it is practically possible. So for us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should seek, as much as possible, to act or take precaution in advance to prevent bad effects that would come later on as a result of unaddressed conflict.
