“I must do something’ always solves more problems than Something must be done.” unknown
I think taking responsibility has an empowering effect on us. On the other hand, looking to someone else to act, disempowers us, it takes the wind out of our sails if you may. It causes us to resign to our circumstances, environment or fate. The mantra becomes ‘things never change or things will remain the same’. Yet the opposite is true. As it has been said, the only constant thing is change.”
For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should take responsibility for the outcome of our lives. As it is, we cannot change the past, but we can change or influence the future by the actions we take now. So each present moment has the potential to change our future positively or negatively depending on the action or actions we take.
Brian Tracey in his book the Power of Self-discipline said “The failure to accept responsibility and the attempt to foist responsibility for things in your life that make you unhappy onto other people, institutions, and situations completely distort cause and effect, undermine your character, weaken your resolve, and diminish your humanity. They lead to making endless excuses.”
Similarly, Jack Canfield in his book the Principles of Success said “If you want to be successful, you have to take 100% responsibility for everything that you experience in your life. This includes the level of your achievements, the results you produce, the quality of your relationships, the state of your health and physical fitness, your income, your debts, your feelings – everything! That is not easy. In fact, most of us have been conditioned to blame something outside of ourselves for the parts of our life we don’t like. We blame our parents, our bosses, our friends, our coworkers, our spouse, the weather, the economy, the government, our astrological chart, our lack of money-anyone or anything we can pin the blame on. We never look at where the real problem is – ourselves.”
There is a story told of employees who were looking into a mirror. One day all the employees arrived at work to find a notice at the door that said “The person who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away yesterday. We invite you to join the funeral session in the gym room.” At first each employee was sad to hear the news of the passing of this colleague. However, after a while, they were curious to know who this individual was, who had been hindering their growth and the growth of the company.
When the employees had all gathered for the funeral, they all got a chance to go look into the coffin. The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up. Everyone was thinking: “Who is this guy who was hindering my progress?” One by one the employees got closer to the coffin, and when they looked inside they suddenly became speechless. They stood nearby the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul. You see there was a mirror inside the coffin: everyone who looked inside it could see themselves.
There was also a sign next to the mirror that said: “There is only one person who is capable of setting limits to your growth in this company: it is YOU.” You are the only person who can revolutionize your life. You are the only person who can influence your happiness, and the realization of your success. Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your partner changes, when or your company changes. Your life changes when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting beliefs, when you realize that you are the only one responsible for your life.
Larry Winget said “Few people will turn to themselves to take responsibility for their results until they have exhausted all opportunities to blame someone else.” I think the easiest thing we can do is to resign ourselves to the circumstances we find ourselves in. To feel better, we blame the circumstances or the person or institution that made those circumstances possible. This can be an addictive habit, where we choose to blame someone or something for our predicament.
Some people usually say that this point of view is not good. It is akin to blaming the victim for the predicament they find themselves in, which may not be of their doing. However, I think it is all about reclaiming the power to act on a situation as opposed to living it upon some entity or someone else to make changes that would improve our lot. Not taking responsibility in my view is ceding our personal power to act to someone else or some entity. Choosing to blame something or someone else can be like a rabbit hole, you never lack for things to blame.
I think the story of Joseph in the Bible is a good example of someone who had every reason to blame his family, his boss, his circumstances, even God, but he chose to take it upon himself to be better because of those circumstances. You see, Joseph was hated by his brothers. He had ten older brothers and a sister and one younger brother. In all he had 12 siblings. Joseph was his father’s favourite child because he was born in his old age. This made his brothers hate him even more. To make it even worse, his father Jacob made it so clear by giving Joseph a gift of a colourful robe. Joseph had some dreams on two nights and he shared these with his brothers. They hated him even more for the dreams he told them. The dreams seemed to say that Joseph would reign over them.
One day Joseph was sent by his father to check on his older brothers who were grazing the flocks. While he was at a distance, one of the brothers said “here comes that dreamer, let us kill him.” The eldest brother by the name Reuben made a suggestion that they throw him in a well. He was planning to later go and rescue Joseph and return him to his father. They picked him up and threw him in the well. Later on, they saw some merchants who were on their way to Egypt. The brothers thought it a good idea to sell Joseph as a slave to the merchants. They then took his robe of many colours and sprinkled it with blood. When they got home, they told their father, “here is your son’s robe. We found it in the fields, he must have been eaten by a beast.” The father Jacob was devastated at these sad news.
Meanwhile, the merchants sold Joseph as a slave to an Egyptian official called Potiphar. Joseph established himself as a reliable servant. His master did not have to worry about anything when he was in charge. Joseph was a handsome youngman and his master’s wife was attracted to him. She started pressuring him to have relations with her, but Joseph refused to indulge her, saying that his master trusted him and he could not do such a wicked thing. One day, while Joseph went to work, there was no one else in the house. His Master’s wife came to him and grabbed him by his cloak saying “you must sleep with me!” Joseph tore himself away leaving his cloak in her hands. She then called her servants in, accused Joseph of wanting to rape her.
When Joseph’s Master heard his wife’s story, he was furious and put Joseph in prison. While in prison, the Lord was with Joseph and he prospered. He was recognized by the prison warden and put in charge of the other prisoners. The warden had no worries when Joseph was in charge. At some point, Pharaoh was offended by his chief cupbearer and chief baker and he put them in prison. Joseph was put in charge of them. One day the chief cupbearer and the chief baker had dreams and they were sad because they did not understand their meanings. Joseph offered to interpret the dreams with the help of God. He told the cupbearer that his dream meant in 3 days he would be reinstated to his position. Joseph told him to remember him when he was reinstated, that he was mistakenly put in prison. He also told the chief baker that in 3 days, he would be impaled on a pole by Pharaoh and birds would eat his body. That is what happened to the chief cupbearer and the chief baker.
The chief cupbearer resumed his duties and forgot about Joseph, until one day Pharaoh had a dream no one could interpret. He then remembered Joseph and told Pharaoh about it. Joseph was brought before Pharaoh and was able to interpret his dream. That there would be 7 years of plenty in Egypt and 7 years of famine afterwards. Pharaoh needed to gather food during the years of plenty to ensure there would be enough food in the land during the famine. He appointed Joseph to be in charge of the program to store food in preparation for the famine. He put him in charge of the entire land of Egypt and became his second-in-command.
When famine broke out in the land, it also affected Joseph’s family. His father had Joseph’s brothers come to Egypt to buy food. They made two trips to Egypt at which point Joseph, who had recognized them, revealed to them that he was actually their brother. The one they had sold to Egypt many years back. The brothers were afraid of him, thinking he would retaliate. However, he was so kind and gracious to them. He simply said, they intended it for bad, but God made it to turn out for good. He was able to take a position where he not only saved Egypt but also his family from the famine that came upon the land. (Genesis 29-47)
So Joseph did not dwell on the unfair nature of his circumstances and engage in the blame game. Instead he trusted God, took the actions he had the power to take, in the place he was in and that made a huge difference in his life. He became a blessing to many.
For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we must not let our past, our current circumstances or our environment rob us of the power to act in one way or the other. Whatever little action we take to make things better, can have a ripple effect in our lives and the lives of people around us.
So do you take 100% responsibility for the outcome of your life?
While taking responsibility is not an easy thing to do, its rewards are immeasurable. As Frank Crane said “Responsibility is the thing people dread most of all. Yet it is the one thing in the world that develops us, gives us manhood or womanhood fiber.”
